That's All Folks! (Porky Pig Voice)

It's always easier to have an argument when you have the truth on your side. For the last few years and, more intensely, the last few weeks there has been a constant argument on whether Tim Tebow is any good at, well, anything. This week pretty much sealed the deal. I'm right. When you get hosed by Detroit 45-10 and look bad doing it, that tells us something.

This week there would be no Miracle in Miami, no late game "heroics", just total dominance by the Lions. In this ass chewing, I'd like to say the Lions held Tim Tebow to 18/39 and two turnovers, but that would imply Tebow's own suckage didn't factor into it. Make no mistake, he is bad and lacks basic skills that are needed to play quarterback. Routine overthrowing of receivers and bad decisions can't all be placed on solid Detroit defense. A lot of the blame has to be place on Tebow for his total inability to play the position. Maybe he didn't pray hard enough before the game this week. Maybe he didn't stretch enough without all that time on the sideline to undermine Kyle Orton.

I'm sorry that was petty. Good. I hate this guy. He is totally undeserving of a shot at being a starting quarterback in the NFL. I would be this mad at any other person getting a job they shouldn't get. You need only look to my outrage about Mike Brown being hired to coach the Lakers or Mike Shanahan being hired to coach any team without John Elway at quarterback.

My hate for Tebow goes slightly further because I hate all his religious bullshit too. If you want to be religious fine. Do it on your own time and keep it out of the workplace. You don't see cops getting down on one knee every time they write a parking ticket, do you? That might be funny, and I would pay to see Nick Maletto do it, but it shouldn't happen. If there is a god, he doesn't pick sides or favorites in football.

This is perhaps the part that drives me nuts about this clown even more than his offensive play (you love that pun). When he wins it's all prayers and getting down on one knee. What about when he loses? Does he love his god a little less? Tebow supporters, who often conflate his beliefs and his play will point to his religion and the fact that he is one of the few good people in the NFL. What? Are you overlooking the size of the ego that is needed to believe that the all powerful being you believe in is backing you over other people in a football game? Please. And don't tell me that Tebow doesn't play this to his advantage.

You only need look to his comments after the game. "I'm just going to get up early and go to work and try to get better tomorrow and consistently improve and be the best person-slash-quarterback for this organization," Tebow said. What does that mean? I don't care about you as a person and your play at quarterback has nothing to do with it. Cut the shit. Being a good person doesn't mean anything if you can't throw the ball.

I despise that is his defense. He plays the sympathy card like no other while at the same time being one of the most subtly ego-maniacal, "I think I'm better than everyone" people in the league. One can only hope that he is brushed into the footnotes of bad quarterback history as soon as possible while hopefully continuing to look terrible while doing it.

The Second Coming

The "Great Tim Tebow"

And God said, "On the seventh day, you shall play football."

There is a word that has become all too common in today's super sensitive, "everyone on the team gets a trophy for trying hard" culture and that word is hater. You've heard it, or one of it's many forms, I'm sure. Things like, "stop hating" or "you're just being a hater" are directed at anyone who decides to step out of line with the mass opinion and offer up some criticism.

Urban Dictionary defines a hater as, "A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person." That's an interesting take, but I'd like to offer my definition for consideration. I define a hater as, "someone who speaks the truth, you and/or other people know to be true, but don't want to admit." Mine definition often comes into play when people back someone or something so much, that any criticism is taken as an attack on the person.

Admittedly, this may be more of a commentary on the sad state of the society we live in, rather than just what I perceive to be wrong with sports and the sports media, but when did it go out of fashion to critique and offer up dissenting view points? It seems that there are figures in the media, especially athletes, that are given some kind of tag that gives them a free pass from any criticism, simply because they are being pushed as "the next big thing" and have been anointed, none more so than Tim Tebow.You only need to do a quick search on Google for Tim Tebow and you find images like the one to the right of this passage.

I will grant you that images like this have a lot to do with Tebow's well document and deeply held religious beliefs as much as the fervor of his fan base, but the point is still valid that Tebow has been given the "media darling" tag. Coverage of him is non stop and the media certainly plays up the religious angle of his personality.

And the preacher said, "keep holy the sabbath".

The legend of Tebow began during his time as a member of the Florida Gators. Granted, he had great stats and racked up awards in his college career. He also had an unconventional throwing style and relied heavily on his running abilities and sheer physical size to impact the game. The media marveled at his "heart", "desire" and leadership abilities. They sat as if they were a congregation while Tebow expounded on his deeply held religious beliefs and how they drive his work ethic and play at every opportunity. Finally, he was drafted by the Denver Broncos and this is where we find him today.

Tebow's professional career has largely amounted to nothing at this point. To be fair he has spent most of it as a backup, only recently pushing his way into the starting lineup. I say he pushed his was in because he is exactly what he did. DISCLAIMER: this is the part of the article where I lower the hammer.

The fact that Tim Tebow is now starting, even for a team as bad as the Broncos, is a travesty. Kyle Orton is a solid quarterback that by all accounts clearly defined himself as the best quarterback on the team during training camp. Even Brady Quinn seemed to have jumped ahead of Tebow early on. Losing set in and the call was made to put Tebow in as the fans and media have been calling for him to play since he was drafted. All you would hear from the media and Tebow's loyal flock was, "give the kid a chance, he is a natural leader and has a ton of heart and desire." My question is why? Why should he get a chance? I have heart and desire, just like Tebow. And, like Tebow, I lack the ability to play quarterback in the NFL. So after looking bad in preseason, Tebow was sent in and, to use the media's words, "Performed the Miracle in Miami" this weekend by defeating the WINLESS Dolphins. I don't care that he threw for two touchdowns, the team he was playing is perhaps the worst in the NFL and it took a good amount of choking the game out on the part of the Dolphins to make this happen.

I have heart, desire, and turf paint all over me.

I wouldn't take such issue with this if he wasn't talked about like he was the second coming and the world is just trying to keep him from the success that is rightfully his. But he is and he actively works this angle to his benefit. People have been very harsh on this media darling and the media in turn has been waiting for any opportunity to showcase him and prove all the "haters" wrong. We can no longer qualify anything, a win is a win. Well, yes for the team it is a win. For Tebow, though, shouldn't there be some standard by which to judge his play. It is a disservice to the actual great quarterbacks to do otherwise. Watching someone like Peyton Manning play quarterback is like watching a master artist paint. Watching Tebow just hurts. His throwing mechanics are awful and he relies on running around and hoping to make something happen. He isn't even average. But I'm a hater for saying that.

The thing that I find most disgusting is how Tebow has used religion to promote his cause. Because of his religion he is viewed as moral and superior in some way. And don't tell me I'm making that up, you only need to look at ESPN or any other major sports outlet to see the tone of the articles that are written about him. Some say he has charisma. I say he knows how to work people to gain sympathy and draw attention to himself. We can forget the fact that playing a violent gladiator sport on a the day of the week the Bible says God decree for rest goes totally against the religion Tebow holds so dear. None of that matters when it's about promoting a brand.

I hate that Tebow's play is judged with his morality in mind just as much as I hate how much Michael Vick's play is judged with his immoral dog killing ways as part of his quarterback rating. Give me a break. You can like or not like a guy, but to talk about them as a player with these things in the discussion is wrong.

All I want to talk about is whether Tim Tebow can "play" quarterback. Not whether he is a nice guy, or a religious guy, or a hard worker. Everyone in the NFL is a hard worker, and I don't want to be friends with him, I want to talk about his awful play at quarterback. I don't think he has the skills or understanding of the position required to be a starting quarterback in the NFL. I think that Kyle Orton is much better than him and is getting a raw deal. I think that the Broncos gave into public pressure to play him because of his fan base. You can call me a hater for all of this, but if you subscribe to my definition of the word, that means you know, somewhere deep down, that I'm right.